Finding Your Happy Place

TOO OFTEN WE LOSE TOUCH WITH WHO WE REALLY ARE.

We lose touch with what truly makes us happy. From a very early age, we are trained to look around us for examples of how to act, how to be, and what to do. Our teachers tell us to look to other students for examples of how to behave. Our parents tell us to look to our older or younger siblings for examples of who we should strive to be like. We lose ourselves, because we are looking at everyone else to show us how to be, act, and show up in the world.

If we are different, we may be made to feel less than, because we don’t fit in with everyone else. So, as a desperate plea to find our place in the world in a way that feels safe, we may cover up who we really are by adapting with our environment in order to hide our differences from those around us. Over time, this creates a mask that we hide behind, and as adults we may wake up one day to find that we have been living someone else’s life completely. Everything we hold dear to us might not truly be what we want, but just what we were told to want. This can be so deeply hidden from our conscious awareness, because we have trained ourselves to mask our true feelings from a very early age. Eventually, we can get to an extremely dark place within ourselves, if we don’t realize what is truly happening within us.

The more we suppress our true feelings and desires, the more we cut ourselves off from our center, from ourselves, and from SOURCE (God). Finally, when we have completely severed our connection to our center, we are always looking outside of ourselves to find happiness. We may believe we need someone else to make us happy. We may start to blame others when we are unahappy. Maybe we feel they are not trying hard enough, or they are not being good to us in the way we deserve. But, none of this truly matters if we are connected to our center. If we know who we are, what we want, and we value and love ourselves just the way we are. When we are connected to our center, others may upset us, but they do not make or break our happiness.  When we know who we are, what are values are, and what we want, we naturally hold this intention with our relationships with others, and they begin to honor and respect it, in the same way we do.

When we are disconnected from ourselves, we may also start to look around us to see how others are living. If we see someone with something new and exciting in their life, and we see that it makes them happy, we unconsciously believe we need what they have, or we need to be doing what they are doing in order to be happy. This results in a keeping up with the Jones’s mentality in order to find our HAPPY PLACE. We unconsciously begin to live someone else’s life, and forget to look for the life that makes us happy.

But, until we look deep within, we will not be happy. We might be happy with the new house, or the new shiny expensive material object at first, but, it wont last if it was someone else’s dream. It never does.

How do you find your happy place?

First, we have to do more of what makes us happy. What if we don’t know what that is? We need to realize that if we did not want something before someone else had it, it might not be a true desire. It is most likely not what we really want. Next, we need to stop looking outside of ourselves for others to make us happy. No one else is in charge of our happiness, and until we take responsibility for that, we will end up on a wild goose chase by looking for others to show us the way to our happy place.  Once we have that figured out, we need to ask the right questions. As silly as it sounds, questions open up a pathway for our guidance system to come through. The more questions we ask, the more clarity we will have.

One of the main things that all people desire, whether they are fully aware of it or not, is deep meaningful relationships with others. In order to have healthy relationships with others, we must first have a healthy relationship with ourselves.

DO THE INNER WORK!

Understand that YOU made the choice to disconnect with your center. You made that choice, no one else made it for you, so you can powerfully intend to make the choice to reconnect.

Here is a step by step process to get you started.

1.  Find a quiet space, and begin to take in deep breathes. The deeper the breath the better. Inhale and exhale deeply. Do this for as long as it takes to get calm and feel relaxed.

2. Place your intention on your Solar Plexus area. This area is right in the center of your belly (the navel area). Place your hand there and continue breathing. (Your solar plexus is also known as the “Seat Of The Soul.” This is the energy center that houses your true feelings and emotions.  By gently placing your attention here, you can begin to feel feelings that may have been suppressed.

3. With your attention on your feeling center (your Solar Plexus), begin to ask the right questions. Why am I not happy? What is really bothering me? It may be helpful to have a journal with you to jot down anything that comes to you. The information may come to you in the form of a feeling. Maybe you feel the need to cry or maybe you feel anger. Whatever it is you are feeling, honor it. Once it is heard, and acknowledged, stagnant energy will be released and a pathway for clear guidance will begin to emerge.

More questions to ask:

What makes me truly happy? What is most important to me?  What do I really want? What can I do to feel better? What would my life look like if I was being true to myself? What do I need to let go of, in order to be happy? Who am I blaming for my unhappiness? What needs to change in order for me to be happy?

Note: if you have a hard time feeling anything, it may be helpful for you to imagine a beautiful yellow sphere in your Solar Plexus area, and hold this image for a few minutes, then try again. This is a process, and you may need to do this many times to reconnect with your center. Over time, you will make the connection. Keep with it! Also, you can repeat this process with the Heart Chakra, located in the heart area.

PS, I would love to hear from you, please leave a comment in the box below!

Helping you to AWAKEN to your GREATNESS one thought at a time!

Intuitive Life Coach

Kelly T. Smith